Leave it to me...

to over-react in situations and jump the gun. Part of my "Fire and Brimstone" personality, as Grant so lovingly refers to it.

This morning I went to fill up my water bottle from our Eureka water in the back office. First I smelled a strong, funky smell and then I saw the green-tinted water. I stared at my water bottle in shock and thought, "If this doesn't get me a few bucks in a law suit, nothing will". I rushed to call my boss and informed her that Eureka was trying to poison my office staff. We looked up the phone number together and I told her that I'd be sure to give Eureka a piece of my mind.

The woman answering the phone for Eureka took some time to transfer me after hearing my story. She, too, was probably in such shock that she didn't know who to send me to for green water. After being on hold, I spoke to my extremely nice Eureka representative who assured me that they would be over right away to pick up the contaminated water. I thanked him briskly and hung up. I wrote Grant an email informing him that we could have a good case on our hands and maybe end up with enough money to buy a house...maybe even a summer home, thanks to my putrid drink.

After working on what I'd tell the press when they came knocking to hear about the dirty water scandal at Eureka, I called Sandy. Sandy works with me but has been filling in at another office all week. I began to tell her my story and that Eureka was on their way to clear up the mess. Before I could finish, I heard hysterical laughter on the other end of the line. "Ash...it's Gatorade. Forrest dumped it in the new water last week since it's getting warm outside." Huh. No beach house?

I regrettably called Eureka back and explained the situation and asked my still very nice representative to please cancel the order to pick up our "tainted" water.