You might be a bad driver if...

• You constantly use words/phrases like "Oh!", "Oops!", "I did NOT see that coming!" or "That guy came out of nowhere!".
• You purposely slow down to a nice 15 mph and try to aggrivate the guy behind you who is so close that he could lick your bumper. But two blocks away, you become that same guy when the girl in front of you wont' get off of her cell and speed it up.
• More than once you have turned the wrong way down a one-way street, simply because you were lost in thought or singing along to your favorite song on the radio.
• On more than one occasion, you've had to hit the breaks hard enough that the dog who was going along for the ride in the back of the car was thrown into the back of your seat and might have suffered a slight doggy concussion.
• You have a hard time holding conversations with the person riding next to you because you have to "concentrate".
• You failed both the written and driving portion of your driver's test. No license that day.
• You have been pulled over for tailgating.
• Many times you've found yourself audibly thanking Jesus for not hitting the car in front of you, not letting the police at the speed-trap see you, for not running off the road, for not getting hit while running that red light, etc.
• You've actually partially backed over a man on a motorcyle that you "just didn't see".
• You think you're good at texting while driving.
• You called your husband just to let him know that you totally just parallel parked your car!
• You've burned out your emergency break by driving home with it up the entire time. Several times.
• You still pull into the gas station and park on the wrong side of the pump. No, your little gas door thingy has not moved. It's been on that side the entire six years that you've had the car.